On Compromising

Palermo, Sicily

Our lives all look different, but we share a common trait: somewhere along the line, we have made compromises. We have made compromises with ourselves, with our dreams. We have made compromises with partners, with jobs. We have given up one thing to get something else. We have accepted something we would have preferred not to because it comes along with something else, something that we really want which outweighs the rest. Because things are never perfect, and we can’t have it all (at least, not all of the time). This is a fact, but it should not be one that causes distress. Understanding and accepting this actually helps you put things into perspective:

What is it that is actually important to you?

What are you willing to let go of? And what must you always, always hold onto?

Here, you can narrow your focus: pay attention more to what really matters and let the rest go. Save it for another day, or take it off your plate completely. Don’t waste time on those things that aren’t necessary while putting off what it is that you would really like to do.

What is important to us can be fluid, we can change our minds. We are always changing, hopefully growing and better understanding ourselves and what it is we are seeking in this life. We must adapt to each new day, and decide for ourselves how to proceed.

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There is a difference, however, between compromising and settling. With compromising, you are making a decision: you are making way to have what you want, which maybe means you have to give up something in order to have something else. But with settling, you are either giving up that which is what you want, or you don’t know what is it that you want. You are ceasing to search for that which could fulfil your desires. This is an important distinction. If you are not satisfied with an aspect of your life, you must first ask yourself: am I dissatisfied because the compromise for this was too great: did I give up too much for something that wasn’t worth it? Or am I dissatisfied because this isn’t what I want at all?

Only once you know the answer to this question can you begin to take action to reclaim your life, who are you are, and who you want to be. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is the little actions everyday that build the foundations of your life. It is trying something new that leads you to discover what you love, and probably many things that you don’t. It takes time, but who knows how much of that we have? Decide what is it that you want, and go after it. One baby step at a time.

love,

greer