On Turning 25

Richmond Park, London, UK

I just turned 25. 

My friends who are around my age, we commiserate together, lamenting over the time that seems to have slipped away, like the black sand that slipped through my fingers back into the Aegean Sea. Those who are older than me remind me of all the time I have before me, mountains with snow peaks you can't even see, waiting to be summited, all in good time. I am caught in the middle, trying to appreciate both and remain in the moment at the same time.

I recently told my friend that upon turning 25 I was having a mid-life crisis. She responded, concerned,  "I hope this isn't the middle of your life!" My slip revealed that although my crisis is a hopefully quarter-life one, I am placing way too much significance in the past, too little in the future, and almost none on my present.

Since I have been living my life in a series of temporary states, moving from one country to the next on one-way tickets and no plans, what may appear to be a carefree vagabond existence is actually a series of melodramatic type-A breakdowns. 

Now, with my twenty-fifth birthday behind me, I am craving an element of stability. But with that realization came the inner knowledge that while I may be 25, I am only 25, and I still have many adventures ahead of me. So instead I am choosing a stable life of instability, to let one adventure lead me to the next, and to seek opportunities along the way. 

I wish I could say I've stopped worrying about what the future holds, but there are some parts of us that may never change. So, in my 25th year, I will aim to surrender as much as I can to the will of the universe, which has brought me so many unexpected adventures and joys that I never could have planned for. 

And see what happens.

love,

greer