On Friendship
La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona
I am so so lucky to have the amazing friends that I do. They are my champions, my cheerleaders, my constant companions even from afar. They will sit on the other end of the phone for an hour while I'm crying too hard to even be saying anything, but they will still listen. My friends encourage me to follow my dreams and tell me I deserve better when I can't see that I'm settling for something less.
I know how fortunate I am because it wasn't always like this for me. I think we all have encountered people in our lives who put us down, make us feel bad about who we are, or feel silly about chasing our dreams. Attention!! These people are not your friends. Full stop. It's difficult, especially if you don't have a large support group and feel as those you have no one else. But what good is it to be in a position where you can't trust the only people you have to turn to?
People who are using you, or not treating you nice, or even abusing you do not care about you. It's so important for us all to be surrounded by people who want the best for us. Because I have a great support system, when I do encounter a toxic personality or get a bad vibe from someone, I can walk away from the situation. It isn't always easy, because I want to believe the best in people. While I don't want to judge someone from first impressions, I am learning how important it is to trust my instinct, especially if I sense negative energy. It is difficult in these situations to remove yourself, but in my experience it is not worth the pain and emotional torment you go through once that bad energy comes to pass.
If you are stuck in a toxic friendship and feel you have no one else to turn to, get out and break away from your social circle. Join a book club or take an exercise class. It's not a lifelong commitment, but chances are the other people there are there to make friends too. You will connect with someone eventually, and it will be a real, genuine connection. It will be a gift, and you'll know it when you feel it. In the meantime, if you need someone to vent to and encourage you on how to extricate yourself from this entanglement, visit a dog rescue shelter full of puppies ready to show you the truest form of unconditional love. And once you know what that feels like, I hope you won't settle for anything less.
love,
greer