Walking away

Budapest, Hungary

For the first time in a long time, I was recently confronted with the decision to walk away.

To walk away from an experience that was not benefitting me more than it was causing me stress.

In fact, for a long time I stayed in this environment because I thought, well at least I am benefiting somehow. I am learning, something. I am doing, something. I was afraid that if I left, I would not be doing anything.

I should have listened to my body sooner, to my heart, to my mind. I am a little ashamed that I didn’t. Whenever I thought about this environment, I didn’t want to go. I didn’t have a good feeling towards it, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.

This is not the first time I have had to decide to walk away from a negative environment. It is especially difficult when it seems you are only one there who feels that way. But it was this past me, who had the courage to speak my truth and walk away who inspired me today. After feeling scared and doubting myself, when I finally released myself from that past situation, I remember how I felt free. How even not doing anything for a time was better than doing something that no longer aligned with my values or with what was good for me.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but by doing nothing, I was actually opening myself for something better. And in many ways, better things came to me sooner than I could have anticipated them. Now I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, and I don’t know how long it will take until I find something better this time, but I think that for now, simply the absence of stress is already an improvement. It is already a step in the right direction.

Because walking away is just that, a choice, a decision. It is much easier to just keep going on. It is much more uncomfortable to say the quiet part out loud than to muffle your voice. But eventually, those whispers will become screams. So to take that step, to dig deep into your heart and excise all that you have been keeping there, well that is much more difficult. But then once you have done that, you are free. And you did it before all those hurt feelings, all of those slights and misunderstandings became a rubber band to snap back at those wounded you. Instead, you have freed yourself simply by telling the truth, your truth.

And then walk away. People generally know when they are hurting someone, and if they haven’t apologized or changed their behavior, even after pointing this out to them, means they most likely don’t care. Asking them to be bothered that you are leaving only keeps you connected to them. So if you have decided to walk away, I would advise you against continuing to look back. Wish them well, and move on.

Your new life is waiting.

love,

greer