When It's Enough
Something simple is enough for me, Nela Park, Cleveland
Being back in the United States can be overwhelming.
At home in Italy, I don’t watch TV, so I rarely seeing advertisements. In Italy, we rarely get mail, while at home in the US, my parents get mail everyday - some bills, some flyers, some junk mail. But some, everyday. When I’m home in the US, my budget goes out the window. It’s even more difficult when I begin to attempt to rationalize my purchase - “But I can’t find x in Italy! But what if I need another one of x before I return to the States? But I’m buying a supply for a whole year!”
When I come home to the US, I am always in the car. In Italy, I walk almost everywhere I go. Almost everything I need is within a thirty-minute radius. When I visit the US in the winter, it is very cold, so I don’t want to go outside for a walk, and therefore I hardly exercise. I eat a lot more in the US as well, because I don’t have anything to do or anywhere to go, so I just stay home, and home has all my favorite snacks that I have to stock up on, since you know, I can’t get them at home.
In the US, people are somehow less warm to strangers but more in your face and intrusive, which necessitates putting up a hyper-defensive guard, especially for someone who is very sensitive to others’ energies, such as myself. As a result of all of this, it doesn’t take long for me to become very overwhelmed and anxious when I am in the US.
At the same time, I find myself falling back into these patterns - the spending, the hyper-consumerism, the “just one more, just in case” hoarding of material and perishable goods. It actually overwhelms me, it is a vortex that you know is sucking you in, but at the same, of which you are already swirling into and cannot escape. It is very hard to put your foot down on solid ground, to say “no more, I have enough.”
I have enough. It is enough. I came home thinking that I didn’t need anything else. I am trying to set my boundaries, to “stick to the list,” to not get carried away. I am only here for one month, so while it is a dangerous indulgence I know I will return to Italy and things will be different. I will be limited - by my budget, by the storage space in my apartment. But more so, I will be content again, grateful for everything I have, living in the tranquility and peace of mind that comes from a dining room table devoid of unopened mail and an advertisement-free on-demand tv subscription.
I think it is so easy for Americans to get caught up in consumerism because they are being conditioned to live in a society where more is more. Where you feel like there is always something else to obtain, to upgrade. And consequently, to be made to feel like what you already have isn’t good enough. When in reality, you already have everything you need. You already have much more than you need. We are so focused on material goods that we lose sight of how grateful we should be for those things that are actually important, and that money can’t buy: our family and friends, our health. To have a roof over our heads and to live in a place where we can go about our daily lives with relative safety.
It is very difficult to come back to reality, to ground yourself in gratitude for the fundamental things. To escape the cycle you really have to make an effort - to unsubscribe, to make a budget, to put back the extra pack of sparkling water when you already have enough for weeks. To stop comparing yourselves to other people and their latest phone, their newest car, their picture-perfect and totally fake social media profile life.
It will take a lot of effort, because a lot of effort has been placed against us to stay trapped in this vicious circle of purchase-exhilaration-disappointment-purchase, but we can take control of our lives again. And it begins with realizing that we already have more than enough.
love,
greer