Starting from today

Foro Italico, Palermo

I hesitate to write about the act of dedicating time to “work on ourselves.” I feel that doing so gives us permission to do this work only for a short time, and then when we “re-enter” our daily lives, to lose the sense of priority that the work of self-examination demands. It can be easy, and quick, to lose ourselves to the previous ways of thinking we had wished to change.

Perhaps it is the approaching of the beginning of a new decade. I don’t believe much in assigning value to a square on a calendar. For January 1, 2020 will be (may be) a date just as January 1, 2019 was, and just as November 26, 2019 is today. At the least, all the talk surrounding these last days of the decade has given me cause to reflect, to remind myself that self-examination should not be reserved solely for certain times. Self-examination, to me, is most effective when incorporated as part of daily life. Not only during time dedicated to meditation, but to be incorporated in the moment. To check-in with ourselves, our surroundings, how we are feeling, and how we can use these feelings to understand how we are relating to the world around us.

I feel that self-examination, in the pursuit of healing the wounds of yesterday and noticing where to self-improve for a better tomorrow, should be a daily exercise. A moment-by-moment examination.

This heavy imposition of a “new decade” has, however, given me the shock I needed to be more conscious of being present. I recognize that lately I have been a little lost myself, caught up in moving, adjusting, and finding my way in this new chapter of my life. There is work I have to do for myself, work I have been putting off under the excuse of not being ready. Not be ready to let go of things that have been holding me back. I realize what I have known all along: the only person holding me back from moving forward is myself. And I’m not waiting anymore. I’m not waiting for the new year. I’m starting today. I’m starting with this. I am not going to sit down and make a list of the changes I have to make. I’m just going to make them. As I find myself confronting the elements of myself I wish to improve, I must try to remain in the moment and make those changes. It is not linear. I am sure that I will still have moments of hesitation, where it feels more comfortable to hold onto the broken pieces than to let go. However, I can measure progress in the realization that no one is perfect. It is in recognizing when we are struggling that we can take action to improve. There is no time to waste. If there is something you would like to improve in your life, start from today.

love,

greer