Non guardare giù

Ortigia, Sicily

November 17, 2021

« Don’t look down. »

But I don’t want to

look at you.

It’s hard to do something you love

watched over by the eyes

of someone who you once loved

and of who

so wounded you, too.

With each day passing

I can’t understand what I feel less -

Do I feel more distant from you

or more distant from what I know to be true?

*

I am so glad you are leaving

Thank you, for going away.

For giving me space

To breathe,

I hope I will thrive

since I am relieved

of the pressure

of seeing you.

I won’t even miss

it.

I am just glad it’s not up to me

to decide to quit.

Because I don’t know if I

am strong enough to stay away.

And still, it’s heavy

because I know you will come

back one day.

*

Maybe one day

I’ll get you out of my mind;

Maybe one day,

when I happen to think of you,

you will just be a stranger, and one far away.

I can’t wait, until then.

Until then I’ll just keep going,

shining,

smiling.

Even if I had just been crying.

I have so much more to live for.