On Teachers

Trapani, Sicily

In our lives, we will have many teachers. Friends, family members, strangers. People who come into our lives for a moment can teach us a lesson that will stay with us for years, or give us a piece of advice that can alter the direction of our lives. Sometimes these lessons are positive, and sometimes, they can sting. They can be painful and senseless and mean. And we don’t have to give them meaning or purpose, but sometimes, they can teach us something.

Sometimes, these teachers are actually teachers, people who dedicated their careers and a large part of their lives to formally teaching others. But they are people, too. They don’t always like everyone, or their job. They are going to have bad days. And this is not to excuse bad behavior, but I think it’s important that we don’t think teachers are without fault. Because if we put them on a pedestal, when we come across a teacher on a bad day, and they criticize us, it only becomes more damaging.

Because we look up to teachers. They are supposed to be our role models. They are supposed to encourage us, inspire us. They are supposed to guide us on our path to success. They have the tools, and resources, and experiences that we simply do not. So teachers can be a fabulous resource for us, until we come across one who simply does not like us.

I have had many fabulous teachers in my life. I still remember all their names from my kindergarten teacher who invited our whole kindergarten class to her wedding, to my first-grade teacher who became a source of warmth and encouragement during a difficult period in my young life. I still remember her as one of the first people who saw something in me, who made me feel like I was special and unique and could take on the world.

I also had a teacher who put five cotton balls on my desk, and my desk only, because I was asking too many questions throughout the day. For everyone question I asked, she would take a cotton ball away, until I was literally not allowed to ask questions anymore. I was maybe eight years old.

I had a teacher who “fired” me from student council, because I went to the lunch room to buy my lunch that day and forgot to return to the classroom for our “meeting.” I was maybe eleven.

I had a teacher who gave me a low grade in her class that I felt was unfair. When I then succeeded in passing the AP exam in the same subject, demonstrating that I did, in fact, know the material, she told me she: “couldn’t believe it.”

And I could go on. These are just some examples that remain with me, even fifteen, twenty, and twenty-five years later. And what remains too is the idea that an adult who charged themselves to become an educator would say or do such things that could be so discouraging and damaging to their students. To young, impressionable, sensitive minds. Especially because we are taught to look up to teachers, that the teacher is always right. Which means if they say these things about us, we could very well believe that they were true.

There is always another way to say something, another way to get your point across. There is a kinder way, a gentler way. A way that believes the best in people. Isn’t that the way you would want people to think about you?

I recently ran into some bad teachers again. And because I wasn’t prepared, because I gave them the benefit of the doubt, I went into our meetings with the presumption that they knew what they were talking about it. And in all my, thankfully few, interactions with them, I left those conversations with whiplash. After they disparaged me, discouraged me. After they twisted the truth into jumble of words and gaslit me into believing I was at fault for violating expectations I never could have imagined existed. After they mentioned rules that can’t be found in rule books, and unspoken behavioral codes that border on self-subjectification. I couldn’t recognize the toxicity of the environment because for all the venom that flowed through the classrooms and emails there were niceties planted as flowers to manipulate you into thinking that the problem was you. Because, after all, why would you want to leave this beautiful garden? Where you walk through roses that are leaking poison. What I realized in my brief experience in this environment is that it cannot tolerate the presence of someone who is not indoctrinated into their system. It cannot risk that someone will fight back, will challenge their “authority,” their “prestige.” Someone who would simply defend their rights. Because that someone could light a spark that could set off everything.

So, be mindful of your teachers. Don’t place your faith in them until you see that they have faith in you. That they are cheering you on, that they are setting you up for success. Teachers aren’t perfect; they are just people, too. If a teacher ever tells you that you are not worthy, that you are not smart, that you won’t make it - run. They are not right. Be sure that this is not the right place for you. Finding a teacher who believes in you can change your life, and can save your life. So don’t settle for anything less.

love,

greer