That which we could never know

Atop Monte Pellegrino, Palermo

Often times I begin to write something, and then it turns into something else entirely. It turns into what I needed to hear. And often something that I think is unique to me, is more relatable to others that I could have thought. And even more, it often speaks to someone else in a way entirely different than what it meant to me. So I hope that what I needed to hear today, may be in some way helpful to you, too.

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The problem is that I am always getting ahead of myself. I have such a grand imagination, and it is always full of ideas. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to visit, and things I want to write. I think of so many options, that I get lost in golden clouds I dreamed up myself, and don’t know where there is ground to place my next step.

I know I need to instead focus on the present: what am I doing now, what can I get done today? Because as much as I want to try to plan, I can have no idea what is going to happen next. How can I imagine months ahead, when I can’t predict what is in store for me tomorrow?

With all my grand imaginings for the future, sometimes instead of feeling hopeful, I can put myself down. Feel as though I am not doing enough. I forget how hard I have worked to get this far, in so many ways. I forget that, in fact, what I have now is what I hoped for for so long. What I have been working towards. How all of the experiences I have had have led me here.

I think it comes from comparing myself and where I am on my journey to other people. I am the first person to say that we should never do this, but it is hard not to, especially on a subconscious level. I have to remember that I am on my own path, and not to compare myself to anyone else. I also need to remember that what we see of others’ paths is often just the surface, and usually only that which they wish to project. We don’t always see the whole process.

We hide parts of ourselves because it is our right to only share what we wish. And this is only an important reminder that the best way to not compare yourselves to others is to focus on yourself. Do not lose time analyzing what others are doing because you won’t ever know their full story, just like other people won’t know yours.

Make of your life what you want. Take the path that interests you, even if you are the only one on it. Small steps every day in the right direction will lead you to a destination that you can’t possibly imagine.

love,

greer