No longer an illusion

Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming, USA

When I was a child, my parents made sure I had every opportunity to try new things, to express my creativity, and they encouraged me to follow my dreams.

This included years of dance, art classes, theater, all of which I loved. I also tried many sports, which I very quickly realized were not something I wanted any part of.

Despite this, when I was in high school and university, my interests changed. I buried my artistic interests deep in my heart, deciding to focus on academics. I liked being successful and accomplished in school. On another level though, seeing the students in the art shows at school, they seemed so talented! I was fond of artistic pursuits but I never thought I could achieve success in them. So what was the point in diverting time to what would only be a hobby?

Oh, how little I knew then. It is exactly in those growing years, turbulent with teenage drama, that I could have used an artistic outlet the most. The time when I didn't have any responsibilities and could devote myself purely to learning and discovering my art. Once I got on the academic track, however, it became more difficult to even think about returning to the arts. Luckily for me, fate intervened. Just as quickly and inexplicably as I had dropped the arts from my life, did I drop the future career I had been planning for. I was completely unaware I had even made the decision.

The summer after my junior year, like many of my liberal arts peers in the university, I took a grad school exam. It was a very stressful day and when it was over, I not-so-patiently awaited the results. They were good; I definitely could have applied to schools with them. And then? I just didn't. I was preparing to return to Rome for my last semester, and I put the score along with my list of universities to apply to in a drawer and just...I'm not sure, forgot about it? When I returned to campus for a department meeting that spring, my classmates told me of their plans for the next year and asked me where I was going. It was only then that I realized, I had never applied to grad school. It was not even a decision. I didn't even think about. Which tells me exactly how not important that goal was to me. 

I cannot reclaim the time I lost, nor would I. I enjoyed my studies immensely, and I am proud of my academic accomplishments. My life has taken incredible twists and turns that I never could have foreseen, but I believe that we are on a path that is meant for us. So I do not question how I ended up here, but I am so thankful that I have had the insight that now is the time to pursue my art. 

When the time came for me to leave Morocco, I called my friend and was discussing the insecurity (panic) I felt about what was going to come next. How had I left that promising future in the dust? I could have been halfway finished with grad school by now! She said to me, "You are sitting in the sun, on the beach in Morocco. Can you really imagine being in an office right now?" 

That snapped me out of my little pity party real fast.

As uncertain as my future may be, I finally feel in sync with the path of my destiny. In one of my favorite movies, La Grande Bellezza, one of the characters, a writer, is told by his friend: "...per farsi prendere sul serio, bisogna prendersi sul serio." ["...to be taken seriously, you have to take yourself seriously."] Well, I've started my website, I'm beginning to submit my work, and to anyone who asks me, "And what do you do?" I say:

I am a writer.

love,

greer